Heartbreak makes you wiser. After a sudden burst of inspiration, he pulls out a small pad of paper and writes on it: I spit in this beer. Putting the note on the beer, he heads off to the bathroom. 7. 4. Contact Us, here's to me,here's to you,may we never have reason to argue,but if we do,may we screw,till it's out of me and out of you. The Bar With The Boys"). 1. (Hunter S. Thompson). Heres to the land of the shamrock so green, And heres to each lad and his darlin'Colleen, Heres to the ones we love dearest and most. Patrick Dennis Damn the Torpedoes Steady your glasses When we drink, we get drunk. Here's to those who have seen us at our worst and still showed up here anyway. My condolences on your loss." "My brothers are still alive," the Irishman says. Made with a lavender simple syrup and homemade lemonade muddled with mint, these Lavender Lemonade Mojitos are the prettiest color and make for the perfect summer cocktail. 3.) Bawdy Drinking Toasts Bawdy Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks, and the man listens. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?Because you cant drink and derive. The toast should not last longer than the groom does on the wedding night. If you cheat, may you cheat death, If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart, If you fight, may you fight for a brother, And if you drink, may you drink with me. May they never stop. Two beer or not two beer, thats the question! William Shakesbeer. May you live as long as you like, And have all you like as long as you live. May our penises always be harder than our lives. "I can smell wine, Father," said the Garda. 96.) Cheers can also be just the simple act of clinking glasses before drinking. And trusting in Him, to Whom we all pray; May a song fill your heart, every step of the way. 72.) If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. To those that wish us well; the rest can go to hell. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Life always offers you a second chance It's called tomorrow. Heres to whores and prostitution, big ole bulls that keep on buckin and pretty little girls that keep on fuckin. Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you. One cant deny that English folks are hyped by their breakfast. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! It is kind of easier to play naughty bachelorette party games and answer funny bachelorette questions when you have had a shot or two. Three I'm under the table. 37.) 92.) When I like them, I kiss them. By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, youll be happy. Thank you for buying us all dinner today. "May we all be alive at this same time next year." "May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live." "May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future." So lets all get drunk and go to heaven. 3. If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart. Heres to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; its not as sweet as a womans lips, but a damn sight more sincere! Here's to them for fucking us over,and here's to us for never being sober! 4. Heres to the women who love me terribly. Heres to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia. And damn your souls, Ill drink it. Hops is a plant. May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. Heres to those who have seen us at our best and seen at our worst and cant tell the difference. 61.) Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Sing a song of sick gents Pockets full of rye Four and twenty highballs We wish that we might . When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. We have only today. So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life. May God bless old Ireland, that's this Irishman's toast!" Why not be a little goofy sometimes by bringing up a clever toast for all the oldies in your group. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Heres to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won.Heres to Americas colors, the colors that never run.May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.Jack Burton (movie king of drinking toasts). Here's to me! If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. Pour yourself a shot of these funny alcohol quotes and get high on the lighter side of life. Heres to those who have seen us at our best and worst, and still cant tell the difference. The priest looks from the bottle to the heavens. With this collection you can add levity to any special event and will surely add some personal touch to it. ], [Retrieved from Whether youre celebrating a special occasion or just having a few drinks with friends, these toasts can help make the experience more enjoyable. David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. 11. A good girl and an honest one, a cold pint and another one. Best Inappropriate Toasts Ever Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Theyre complimentary!, 53.) Dont worry theyll tell you. Heres to lobster tail and beer. Heres to the big bull in the woods. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. When you get to It, and cant do It; Come see me, because Im used to It! Heres to alcohol, which often makes one see double and feel single. I dreamed that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. I'll drink to the Girls who do! When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody elses expense. Heres to women. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl's ass are home, sweet home to me. Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy but enough about me. 58.) Id like to say a little prayer for world peace. -Phil Connors. Heres to the brilliant, warm, handsome company that you keep. Few of us want to hear a long boring toast. Dance like nobodys watching. Heres to the nights well never remember with our friends, well never forget. To every lovable girl in the land, I offer this little libation. Heres to your liver! You may not be as wise as an owl, but youre always a hoot! Wouldnt that be a nice toast to find on a beer bottle? C. Fields. Happy birthday! 27. 91.) 7. One for me and one for the road.. This is always a good one to overcome bad times. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. For toasts that are primarily for men click here ; for toasts that are primarily for women click here . 5. May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. Knowing your audience plays a huge part in the success of a toast. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink. Pain makes you stronger. "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.". Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. Smart, sophisticated, friendly, and beautiful Now that's enough about me Here's a toast to you my dear friend! Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. ".here's to maintaining proper Ph Levels in our vaginas, yeast infections!" 2. freshcutgrass 10 yr. ago. With these drinking quotes, you are settled for any occasion! Heres looking at you, although heaven knows it takes all of my efforts. To Lasting Friendships This good Irish toast is perfect for a group of old friends together for a celebration. I used to know a clever toast But now I cannot think of it. Another year has passed, and youre no older than the last! On your birthday, I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors and want you to know that we all are proud of you and love you dearly. Lets drink two and see where it goes. -Han Solo, 2. It's time for a toast. who says, "this drink's on me.". Here's to a man after my own heart. Thus, let us drink beer!Martin Luther, My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. Heres to the floor. Champagne costs too much, Whiskeys too rough, Vodka puts big mouths in gear. 24.) Heres to you. The liver is evil and must be punished. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!" 6. Nothing, it just let out a little wine. However, in casual settings, the terms are often used interchangeably. May you die in bed at 95 years, Shot by a jealous wife. 75.) Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip. "May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.". Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. May you live to be 100 years, with one extra year to repent. Heres to health, peace, and prosperity may the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment, nor the shadow of grief fall among a member of this circle! till it's out of me and out of you. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. It was very romantic he got up on one knee. Some ships are wooden ships. Math Teacher: If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?Student: A drinking problem.. 20.) Start a bachelor party or any celebration at the bar with this winning poetic but funny toast. If drinking beer, Could bring her back here, I'd drink the damn place dry, Yes, I'd drink the damn place dry! Funny birthday toasts are always in style. May she smile upon you. I drink straight out of the wine bottle while cooking. Pigs dont turn into men when they drink. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. A thousand welcomes when anyone comes That's the Irish for you! As Bill and Ted once said: Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.'. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. May you get so drunk that you think your problems are your greatest assets. 9.) If you get a bad one, youll become a philosopher. Cop: Have you been out drinking?Me: Uh yeah, Im 28, Ive been out drinking literally hundreds of times.. Pain makes you stronger. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. Who loves not women, wine, and song, He will be a fool his whole life long. A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. From scatological oaths to Irish drinking songs about cuckold husbands. 68.) So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life." 2. The past won't mind. So, lets drink these pints and get messed up. We fuck Em' up, we fuck Em' down, we fuck their friends when their out of town and when their dead and long forgotten we'll dig them up and fuck Em' rotten. Heres to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. Another day, another bender. "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. Heres to a night on the town, new faces all around, taking the time to finally unwind, tonight its about to go down! If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. 3.) AG. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. We have created a collection of funny drinking toasts you can use next time you raise a glass! Cheers to beers and her legs behind her ears. Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. No charge!, 44.) May our hearts remain as cool as this champagne. -Maurice Chevalier, Related: Funny and Clever Acronyms to Make You Laugh. 7.) When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. But those ships may sink. As you look back at the recent pages of your life, take comfort and pride in your achievements. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies. If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. 4. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. Heres to the women who love me terribly, May they soon improve. 15 Irish drinking toasts "May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold." "Here's to the land of the shamrock so green. MGrooms94 10 yr. ago. Here are some funny drinking toasts to make birthdays more special and induce gales of laughter. We hope you found some quote within this list that suits you and represents you as a character. 40.) -- It was a brewed awakening. Awesome Alcohol Quotes and Sayings "Alcohol You Later." "Trust me You can Dance - Alcohol" "If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA." "I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL." "Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL" "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness." 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And prostitution, big ole bulls that keep on buckin and pretty little girls that keep on fuckin that us. To Lasting Friendships this good Irish toast is perfect for a brother of easier to naughty!

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